The Loving Dead

By Amelia Beamer
Night Shade Books, $14.95, 272 pages

If you’d have told me, before I started reading it, that I would dislike a book about zombies that included graphic girl–on-girl sex scenes and was endorsed by one of my favorite authors, Christopher Moore, I’d have said that you were crazy, but The Loving Dead by Amelia Beamer is just flat out, not good.

The pre-billing said that this book is the lovechild of Christopher Moore and Chuck Palahniuk, but it failed to say what is so often true, the progeny of genius is very infrequently on par with that which preceded it.||Kate and Michael are roomies living in Oakland Hills who throw a party that goes all wrong when Kate’s belly dancing teacher turns into a zombie in the middle of having sex with her. Thank goodness the belly dancing teacher insisted on being tied up because that was the only way she could climax! Maybe this would have worked as a B-movie, but as a B-book it falls on its face. I got the impression it was supposed to be funny, but honestly, I missed every single punch line. Go rent your favorite zombie movie instead; you’ll have a much better time than you would reading this book.

Reviewed by Albert Riehle